Together Apart: SexEd for AdultsPosted: August 21, 2011
I believe that there is a Divine Order operating in this universe whereby every experience and every soul we encounter on our path is a part of our individual and collective evolution. As I sit here this morning, I am choosing to honor the woman I have become thus far, who has been significantly influenced by participating in the Together Apart LIVE Convo events produced by Chris “Kazi” Rolle.
Thanks to Kazi and the Together Apart LIVE Convo events I have fully embraced the term “keep it 100” (meaning to be fully authentic 100% of the time) and experienced a series of important yet uncommon dialogues about aspects of love and relationships. Last night’s Sex Ed For Adults event was certainly revealing on many fronts. It was also very healing, so much so that this minister is pushing forward on a Sunday morning to talk about sex… A topic that impacts every single soul and has the potential to bring forth the heights of ecstasy and intimacy within a relationship with another soul as well as to give form to another living soul.
We are living in a time when there is no shortage of content available to us around sex, ideas as well as images. Simultaneously, we are living within social constructs that can be detrimental to our pyschosexual development because conversations about sex are considered taboo, and the behavior in and of itself is often said to be sinful outside of marriage.
Yet what became clear last night was the need for empowering dialogue and information sharing on an ongoing basis. There was a full house last night and everyone was engaged in a conversation featuring experts in sex, sexuality and relationships. Panelists for the convo included Dr. Madeleine Castellano, Shanel Cooper Sykes, Tarif Ghazi, Jamilla Manigault, Anthony ‘Tmor’ Morris and Makeda Voletta. There were also several souls in the audience who added a considerable amount of valuable insight to the conversation. (That’s another dope feature of Together Apart LIVE Convos, the audience participation is key to the convo.) Sponsors were B Condoms, Nefra Dabney and SingleBlackMale.org.
Since the event went from 7:30pm to almost 11pm, if you really want to know what went down you are going to have to buy the DVD. I know that I will be getting one, because I want to have the full content to engage with my family and friends in conversation around sex. I will certainly announce the release of the DVD on my blog the second it becomes available. If you want to get the direct connect, join Kazi’s email list at TogetherApart.com.
A few key points that I’d like to share are:
1. Sex is a natural act, a conversation that takes place between two souls, whereby we have the potential to engage mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically and energetically. It takes many forms. It is an expression of love and affection. It is something that evolves over time. It can be a sacred activity or exclusively carnal depending upon the intentions of the souls engaging.
2. Although sex is intuitively desired and practiced, there’s a wealth of information that can support us in understanding our bodies, our partners and how to evolve sexually. A good start in cultivating healthy sexual development is with self love. Take the time to know yourself, your body and your mental/emotional/physical imprints around sex and sexuality.
3. Both men and women have various sizes of sexual anatomy. Women’s vaginal size and length are as varied as men’s penis size and length. Ideally there is a physical match between partners, but if not, there are things that can be done to accommodate. (I’m typing today’s post from my cell phone so you’ll just have to google the panelists for the books, videos, products and online content they have available.)
4. Porn has its benefits as well as risks. Benefits can include serving as a learning tool for individuals and couples and a source for arousal and excitement in preparation for sex. Risks can include imprinting images of sex that are not loving or empowering to women and desensitizing souls around the actual act of lovemaking as well as romantic love.
5. The sometimes elusive female orgasm can escape women due to tension, anxiety, discomfort and a lack of communication. Sexual trauma and a lack of information also play a role. This goes back to point number 2… Know yourself. Both souls have a role to play in her coming to climax. Every woman and every man is different. When engaging, it’s important to be fully present and communicating mentally, emotionally, physically, verbally and spiritually during this most wonderful intimate conversation with another soul.
6. Protection, protection, PROTECTION! Condoms and dental dams are the minimum required for safe sex. At the same time there are infections and STDs that you can get from skin to skin contact. Testing for HIV and other sexually transmitted infections with a potential partner and throughout your relationship are good practices combined with using protection 100% of the time, or a truly exclusive monogamous relationship. Abstinence/celibacy would of course be the safest.
Trust me when I tell you there was SO MUCH shared last night! If talking about sex on a Sunday morning begins the process of normalizing the conversation and perhaps moving souls from one level of experience around sex to another (a.k.a. “Healing”) I have done my good deed for the evolution of humanity today. Like I said, every soul and experience adds to one’s evolution. Being on the Together Apart project with Kazi means that conversations about love and relationships have become the norm for me, even sex. Kudos to Kazi for another phenomenal event. He is truly the “Convo Starter.” Check him out at ChrisKaziRolle.com.
ALL of that said, keep the conversation going! Enjoy the day and remember, Jesus only gave two commandments, both were about LOVE. Hmmm… Hold dat! 😉
WE are the Light of the world!
(c) Copyright 2011 Shawna Marie. All rights reserved.